Simon [Lonely Planet] says....

RIGHT....LEFT.....RIGHT....LEFT....STOP...Look Left....Look Right...and take a picture. In order to show myself I am capable of following a map, I took a 5k (6 hour) tour of Central Buenos Aires with the assistance of the oh so handy Lonely Planet guide. Literally, it was idiot proof - well not really, I had to take some guesses on some turns and managed to be wrong quite a few times, but I managed. The only drawback of this tour was that Buenos Aires is experiencing a heat wave and I was sweating like it was my job.

From where I was staying [Palermo], it didn´t have me begin at point 1, but I managed to navigate to it via the subte and walking. The trek begins in Retiro - one of the ritziest barrios in Buenos Aires - at the Plaza de San Martin, which was designed by a French landscape artist Carlos Thays. Apparently all of Buenos Aires has european flare, imported architecture and such - one of the only South American Cities without a real South American feel. Historically, this Plaza played host for slave trade, a military fort and even a bull ring, now it is a gorgeous park. (Sidenote: Tourist trap number 1 - random worker approaches me and helps me out by taking my picture and giving me good tidbits of places to go and where good photo opportunities. Nice jesture, NOPE. And I was swiddled for some money - 10 pesos; apparently nothing in life is free).

Next, I move onto the pedestrian walkway of Florida, Gorgeous! This is the home of the beautiful Galerias Pacifico, one of the capital´s most beautiful malls. The ceilings are lined with beautiful murals and the halls are full of designer shops - ALL WITH SALE SIGNS! The recession is worldwide, but I had restraint and detered my urge to splurge (i.e. I stayed for like 5 minutes and ran out in a frenzy preventing myself from looking at anything and have money depart from my pockets)





Av 9 de Julio was next. Natives are especially excited about this Avenue, they actually pride there city for having it. It is like 14 lanes wide, or something ridiculous like that. It was quite interesting trying to cross and take pictures. Something was destined to fail, but I managed. After crossing that dangerous stretch of Avenue, I made way to Teatro Cervantes on my right. This theater dates back to 1921 and holds a historical theater with a grand tiled lobby and plush red-velvet chairs. On my left was the notable Templo de la Congregacion Israelita - Argentina´s largest synagogue. Apparently, you are not supposed to take pictures of anything Jewish here as you get your camera taken away, but I got a quick pic anyways. Let the touristy adventures continue!! I made way to one of Buenos Aires´ most impressive building - Teatro Colon. This teatro is a major landmark and gorgeous world-class facility for opera, ballet, and classical music. In retrospect, I don´t think I saw this. Or maybe what I thought it was, it was not - it was hot and I was probably hallucinating slightly. Moving on..hold up, am I really hallucinating or is that the Washington Monument I see, NOPE - the Obelesco. Apparently it was only built in a month and during any huge sport win, natives flock to this location. To do what, I´m not sure.

As a result of the heat and my minute breakfast (corn flakes and a banana), I make way to a recommended restaurant - Cafe Richmond. I stand in front of the restaurant and stare at the menu, what do I see, a bunch of jibberish. I barely recognize anything, but these other Americans were in front of me and said anything they would want is in there, so I am gun ho; good enough for them good enough for me. I look over the menu and order something easy - a hamburger, a beer, and a cafe con leche. After I order, the other Americans I sat by asked if they had a menu in English. FAIL! - they had a menu translated in English. Damnit to hell, all that struggle and I could´ve ordered something new if I would´ve just asked. After I sat in the air conditioning for a while, I venture out into the heat to get greeted by an immediate stream of sweat from my brow - NOT SEXY. (On a sidenote: Argentinians/Argentines are beautiful! I mean men, women, old, young, fat, skinny - ok maybe not fat. But they are absolutely gorgeous. Maybe I´m a sucker for Olive skin, light eyes, and dark hair. I thought I had a complex before, I definitely decided I need to do some more pushups on my mobile perfect pushup machine and some more crunches if I were to live here!) I continue to head south towards Plaza de Mayo where you will also find Casa Rosada and the city´s main Cathedral. Plaza de Mayo is where the native hold there most vehement protests. For all that don´t know Casa Rosada is the infamous house, where Eva Peron (Evita aka Madonna in the movie) gave her speeches from the balcony. It took my all not to scream out - DON´T CRY FOR ME ARGENTINA! After resisting the urge, I continued on my trek of people watching and picture taking. Next stop was the Cafe Tortoni, the most famous and touristy cafe in BA, known for their Tango Shows. The end was in sight of this tour, I was getting tired and my clothes were becoming transparent by way of my ridiculous amount of sweating. Onward, Palacio de Congreso, modeled after the one and only nation´s capital in Washington D.C. There is a little bit of home everywhere I go. I hear all this ruckus, apparently there are always protest going on by the Congress. I went to go see what it was all about, but yet again, couldn´t understand a thing. Now the end of the tour and the most exciting part, Argentina is known for their Ice Cream and I stopped at by far the best ice cream place EVER - Heladeria Cadore. I was in heaven! Two scoops of Vanilla and Strawberry Ice Cream in a waffle cone - YEAH TO BEING A FATBOY!! Well worth the 5 km and 6 hours. Homeward bound to get a steak and some wine and an exciting evening with some couch surfers and a nightime photo excursion.